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Weekly columns from some of Chicago's funniest writers.

  • MondayLast Blog of Krypton by James D’Amato
  • TuesdayLonely Life's by Trey Kalny
  • WednesdayScreen Shots by Dinner with Stu
  • ThursdayNotes From Jim's Fridge by Jimmie Bernardin
  • FridayThe Brighter Side by Jake Gunst
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THE PEACHES AND HOT SAUCE Guide to Getting Internet Famous and Becoming a Bitcoin Billionaire

The Peaches and Hot Sauce Guide to Getting Internet Famous

Do you feel inadequate? Does your family and job leave you unfulfilled? Peaches and Hot Sauce used to be you, but we found an answer. It’s time to make money, climb the ladder, and become the internet star you should have been in high school. On November 9th, for one night only, we will practically give away our secrets.

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BBQ and Summer Solstice Celebration

bbq

Grab some wings and burn the bones! On June 21, join the Peaches & Hot Sauce crew as we throw some burgers on the pyre and ring in Midsummer the only way we know how. Throughout the evening, we’ll meet new characters, celebrate old gods, and maybe view some family-friendly slides.

The fun starts at 5 p.m. with the main event at 5:30. Be sure to make it on time—if you miss it, you’ll have the longest possible amount of sunlight this year in which to regret it. See you there!

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Screen Shots

ArticlesScreen Shots

The End of the Outdoor Planks

Chicago has been rocking the Indian Summer my friends. Rocking it so hard. Speaking of rocking so hard…. The other night I went for a run on the lakefront trail and since I can’t run long distances due to a medical condition called Hating Running So Fucking Much, I stopped to do a few planks along the way. You know. Run a mile. Do some planks. Dry heave. Repeat. Because it was so nice out!!

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Screen Shots

ArticlesScreen Shots

The Unified Scene

You know when you’re 16 and you send your friends band lyrics from your favorite band and everything is very important and revelatory and spiritual. Well, Mal and I just turned 16. Get ready because probably all of our Screenshots for the next year are going to be about the Hold Steady show we just attended at Hideout Block party. Or another Hold Steady concert that we’ll soon attend because they’ll be touring for their new album…I guess we should change the name of this blog to the Hold Steady blog or The Unified Scene if you are like us and, like, really get it, you know?

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ArticlesScreen Shots

Tow and Tell

Jess here. Today I found out a little something about my coping mechanisms. My car was towed this morning. And when I came outside and looked around for it, I simply said “Huh. Where’s my car? I guess it may be towed or it may be stolen..hopefully it’s just towed.” I remained eerily calm, which is not in my nature. I didn’t freak out, I didn’t cry, I didn’t shake my chubby fists at the sky.

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Last Blog of Krypton

ArticlesLast Blog of Krypton

Gotham’s Black Knight?

In the wake of Ben Affleck being announced as the new Batman, people are starting to ask questions. Some are simple: “Why was Ben Affleck was cast as Batman?” Some more philosophical: “What loving god would build a universe where Ben Affleck is cast as Batman?” Some which border on a beautiful madness: “Couldn’t we have Bryan Cranston play both Lex Luthor and Batman?” All good questions. They all point to a single larger question: “Who would have been a better choice?”

Screen Shots

ArticlesScreen Shots

Get Out of Squats Free Cards

Objectively speaking, one of the hardest things to do is exercise. Once you’re doing it it’s okay and after you’re done with it you’re pretty happy. But the getting yourself to do it part? That’s the worst. Here are a bunch of reasons not to exercise:

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